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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Kiwi-English Dictionary 3: In 3-D!

Okay! It is high time for another installment of my Kiwi-English Dictionary. As the title above suggests, this is the 3-D version, so don those funky red and blue panelled cardboard sunnies, sit back, and enjoy the show!

What's that you say? You mean you didn't get your 3-D glasses in the Brooksie 2.0 Fun Pack I sent you? But... but... they were hand-made! This is a travesty!

The entire Promotions Department has just been sacked.

I know that cleaning house still doesn't get you your ├╝ber-cool 3-D glasses, so I'll just have to disable that special set of code for this time around. I hope you still enjoy these definitions I've come up with as my KiwEnglish has improved since last we visited this topic, so it is time for an update.

(But oh man, I was hoping it'd be in 3-D, 'cause without that special effect, I'm afraid these just ain't that funny.)

See also!

Kiwi-English Dictionary the First

Kiwi-English Dictionary, Collegiate Edition

Kiwi-English Dictionary 4: The Final Chapter of The Return of the Dream Master

biro - slang for a pen, referred to as such for the inventor of the ballpoint pen, I do believe. I don't hear this very often, in fact the only two times I've heard it said (and I've been paying attention), it was uttered by delivery men. True story. I see this in print much more often than I hear it spoken.

brill - shorthand for brilliant, which until those Guinness commercials came on the past few years in the States, was primarily a Kiwi or British expression akin to the American 'cool' or 'sweet'. Or, for people who were alive in the 50s, this is like their 'keen' or 'swell'.

catch you up - nothing really special here, just another way of saying 'catch up with you', I just like this subversive, shorter version better! And it sounds 'cool' or 'brill' or (to my Alive-in-the-50s crowd) 'keen'.

dob - this is a verb, as in to 'dob you in'. You don't want to be dobbed in for anything, for it's just like being busted. As with not wanting to be the 'dobbee', you do not also want to be the 'dobber', for nobody likes a tattle-tale. Snitch!

does my head in - pretty much how it sounds, in that something 'drives you crazy' or even 'freaks you out'. So, if you like to complain a lot and are running out of synonyms, try this phrase on for size! Your overworked audience will appreciate the change, if only for a little while.

dosh - cash, moolah, money, coin. It's like combining 'cash' and 'dollah', I love it! The word as well as what it stands for! Well, at least I don't love money as much as this guy does:

everything goes in roundabouts - since we don't have many of these glorious gifts to our congested roads in the States, I can see why obviously nobody is saying this. It makes sense standing alone, but given all the roundabouts (traffic circles) evident in New Zealand, I am taking a semi-educated guess that perhaps that's where this phrase originated. It's corollary in 'American' might be 'Win some, lose some' or perhaps 'What goes up, must come down' based on the context in which I've heard it said.

...for Africa - when trying to describe something that is of an overly abundant quantity, or if you are just trying to exaggerate, then tack this on to the end of what you are saying. As in, "They had enough beer for Africa at that party!" or "You used enough cotton for Africa in that bandage!" Not that I've had that last thing said to me by any means. Nope.

hooning - love this word, it's just one that sounds like what it describes. A way of describing not only excessive but reckless speed, usually applied to cars, but I've also heard it used in relation to bikes, small children or even rambunctious puppies. "He came hooning round the corner there and plowed through the screen door! I ran after him in my jandals, chasing the little ratbag!" (Threw in some words from the older dictionary editions for ya there.)

how ya going? - the direct corresponding phrase would be 'How's it going?'. Interesting that the Kiwi one is more personal and direct, when compared to our vague 'it'. Although we do also say 'How ya doing?' but thanks to those brill(iant) Bud Light commercials, this usually immediately degenerates into a quote-fest displaying all the variations on this excellent theme (the nerdy white guy version, the Sopranos version, etc.) - at least in conversations in which I'm involved!

knackered - very tired, as in 'dog tired'. Beat, worn-out, exhausted. Comes from the British term for the guy, called the knacker man, who comes and takes dead livestock off the hands of the farmers. Yep, if you're due to be knackered, you must be very tired indeed! I already knew this one from my All Creatures Great and Small days, yo. James Herriot, you best recognize!

lose one's rag - when somebody goes completely 'mental' or 'loses it', they have officially lost their rag, like losing one's grip on reality. Much speculation exists daily as to the sanity of various celebrities (whose names don't need to be mentioned here - I mean, come on, how long do you want this entry to be?) and whether or not they've finally lost their rag. This also can describe not only the bizarre eccentric but also those throwing a particularly vicious temper tantrum, often at service people they feel have not lived up to their end of the bargain. "If they don't fix my car this time, I'm really going to lose my rag! It won't be tidy!"

mooted - being considered for something, as in "John Stewart is being mooted as the next president of the College of William and Mary," or "Vanilla Coke has been mooted as Brooksie's drink of choice." Haha, yeah right. There is no mooting there: Vanilla Coke is my drink of choice! But you see what I mean.

munted - um, 'not working as intended', i.e., shit-faced, wasted, drunk off your arse. You get the picture! Have also heard this describe things as well, as in 'That car's munted, it's not going anywhere!' Yes! Yet another synonym for 'drunk', and a particularly good one, I might add.

piece of piss - not to ruin this other phrase for you with this analogy, but is just like our 'piece of cake'. "I'm not sure I can get all that gardening done in one day." "Nah, it's a piece of piss, mate." Piss comes up a lot in KiwEnglish, as mentioned in past versions of this dictionary, so here it is yet again in all its glory. Quite a versatile word, don't ya think!

see how he/she goes - very like our 'Let's see how it goes' but again a more personal version with the Kiwis. Invariably later on down the line one would then be asked 'How ya going' after initially deciding to 'see how we go' (see above).

slapper - refers to a woman who has a reputation for getting around. Also synonymous with munter which should not be confused with the term 'munted', above. Definitely not a compliment. Quite misogynistic and it is a word I've only heard down here. Of course the American equivalent term would be 'slut'.

slash - a piss. Again with the P-word! But yeah, I like this synonym, it is a welcome addition to my vocabulary. Often said with 'off for a' as in, "I'll be right back, I'm off for a slash." As with my philosophy that you can never have too many phrases for 'to vomit' or to describe drunkenness, so too you can never have enough ways to describe taking a leak. Bleeding the weasel. Hitting the head. You get the idea!

stuff - as in, the action. Usually said when giving up on something, as in "Ah, stuff it, I'll finish this tomorrow." But it could also be used to describe making a mistake, as in "I told you to ask her out then but you waited too long and stuffed it all up." Can be considered a synonym for knackered but perhaps to a lesser degree, as in you might be just 'stuffed' before you progress all the way to being 'knackered'. Can also be quite a cutting insult, as I've rarely heard it spoken so far and when I have it's been pretty harsh. So, if you are told to 'get stuffed' you have indeed been told off, mate!

sunnies - sunglasses, shades. Kiwi-speak is great, isn't it? Sunnies just sounds so very positive, like the Kiwi's often 'sunny' disposition. Awww!
Ok, that's enough of that.

Well that's all the new terms I have written down for this edition. I hope you are enlightened and at least a little amused! And, uh, sorry again about the 3-D glasses not being sent out. When I get next year's budget together, hopefully I'll have enough for a second go at them!

Until then, I remain, your faithful



Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Thank you, Brooksie, for your kind words as I work to regain my health from these maladies that have me down. I think the cat and I are going to take a catnap now.

7:41 AM  

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