White Boy Pain

This is just so unfair.

Stop me if you've heard this one: The story of the guy who unfailingly for years buys the same weekly lottery ticket numbers. Then, as luck would have it, he forgets to buy them just ONE time - and it just happens to be the time he would have hit it big with those very numbers! Sometimes this story has a rather grisly ending, and it's probably no more than one of many urban myths floating around out there.

The reason I bring this up is because something similar happened to me today. In the grand scheme of things, it is nowhere near as tragic as the above cautionary tale. But it is still galling and see if you agree!

As you may have gathered from my previous bloviating writing, I tend to have a wander through downtown Wellington on Wednesdays, my day off during the week. The day is pretty unstructured, and usually I try to end up experiencing something I haven't done on past trips into town, as there really is an awful lot to get up to in downtown Wellington.

Yesterday, however, was an exception. Instead of going into town (taking the train as I now do - it's all about being green, yo), I skipped on my trip to Welly and hung around the Hutt Valley instead. Oh, I was being productive at least: cashed a couple of checks, picked up my winning bet on the Giants from Super Bowl XLII (thank you, Eli!), mailed off some bills, tidied up the house a bit, etc.

But my productivity on this particular day off is hardly a soothing enough balm for missing out on THIS.

(You'll really need to follow that link to understand the rest of this story.)

Yes, it's none other than Jemaine and Bret performing live and downtown on Wednesday! Not downtown Lower Hutt, either: downtown Wellington!

And where was I? Idly sipping coffee in one of the Hutt malls, content with my lame day-off "Mailing of the Bills" or "Cashing of the Checks". Instead I could've been down there with Bret and Jemaine and seen them play live and even autograph my DVD of Flight Of The Conchords, Season One!

Now, I'm not going to get all "Mel" on you:






But I do love the show and have been sort of hoping these two guys would get up to some kind of public performance while they've been home in New Zealand, waiting out the writers' strike before beginning their second season of FoTC. Given my frequent haunting of Wellington, I kinda fancied the notion of being able to see them out and about somewhere, sometime.

That's as "Mel" as I'm like to get, though. I have never pretended to be out for a jog just outside of their flat or anything. (Please - do you know how hard it is to find out where celebrities live? It ain't easy, especially when you've got restraining orders out against you!*)

In my defence, this was a (mostly) impromptu performance, as the only people 'in the know' would have been those on the mailing list for the movie rental place where they set up their quick show. I am not on that list.

Second, I do not (usually) bring my FoTC DVD with me everywhere I go. (I'm still not Mel). So there would have been nothing for them to sign. Well, I could have tried to get them to sign my chest or something, but don't ya think having one restraining order out on you for that reason is enough?*

Finally, this particular video store is also way up Aro Street, which is usually a far cry from where I walk downtown, even though I do tend to walk all over. So odds are, I would not have been able to just stumble upon this event while it was happening.

We won't mention the fact that Jemaine and Bret stayed on for two hours after the gig, unfailingly signing anything and everything that came their way. So there could very well have been a word-of-mouth buzz going on in all the cafes and coffee shops downtown about their presence.

Oh, think of the cred I could have had if I could lord it over my fellow FoTC fans back home that I actually met Jemaine and Bret in their home town!

And had them sign my chest!

No, we won't be mentioning that.

So... how 'bout those Giants eh?

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* I keed, I keed!

Comments

Unknown said…
Well, it seems I don’t have the correct plug in to view the video and the download thingie says it’s not available. However, from the test, I perceive you missed Flight of the Conchords at a video store. Right?

You ain't obsessed with these dudes are you?
Kiwi Brooksie said…
Sorry about the plug-in thing, Nick, but well spotted on the Flight of the Conchords' video store appearance!

Much as I am a fan of their show on HBO, I am not obsessed with them - unlike the Mel character on the show is!

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