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Sunday, December 24, 2006

Banter at the barbie

"Hallo, mate! How ya going, then?"

"Good, good. And yourself?"

"Box of birds, mate. Couldn't be better. Fancy this weather we're having then, eh?"

"Ah, it's about time it cleared up a bit. Bloody snow on the mountaintops yesterday."

"I know. Taking the wife and kids to the bach next weekend, up at Hawke's Bay. I'm bloody buggered if it's still this cold then."

"You'll have to pack a few jumpers then, won't ya mate?"

"Aye, probably. So where'd ya get this flash new barbie then?"

"Oh, this old thing? Dave - Denise's partner - got himself a new kauri pine barbie, so he gave me this one free."

"You cheeky devil! How'd you manage that then?"

"They're just really nice people is all. Needed a bit of work, too. Just a little bit of scrubbing, some new briquettes and a propane tank and it's sweet as."

"Good on ya. Saw you at the supermarket yesterday. Must've been one of the hundreds in there buying food for the weekend."

"Oh it was choc-a-block in there, wasn't it mate? Still, had to get some good meat for these kebabs."

"You did them up a trick mate, they're tasty as!"

"Cheers, mate. Ta."
--------------------
Translation:

Brooksie has just landed himself a new barbecue for free, from some very nice people he has met through his new job. Barbecue season is upon him now in New Zealand, and although he won't actually be firing it up in time for Christmas, he is lucky enough to be spending Christmas Day with his mate Andrew and his family in Greytown over in the Wairarapa Valley. There will undoubtedly be barbecuing going on, weather permitting, but until Brooksie gets his inherited one in proper working order, he won't be firing up any kebabs on it any time soon.

The above conversation was a purely hypothetical one, and one which may very well be taking place barbie-side sometime this summer. Confused readers are referred to the Kiwi-English dictionary for further reading and assistance with translation of this passage. Pictured with his new barbie is his Secret Santa gift (the Santa in question still remains a secret), which is a lovely barbie start-up kit. Brooksie is aware of the severe amount of paint peeling away from the top of his barbie and asks that you refrain from mockery at this time. Holiday spirit, and all that.


Merry Christmas, everybody!

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